This week more than any other week, has made me realize how important self-care is. It's more than a slogan or silly catch phrase. It is what will carry you through your journey. Over the long haul.
This is my second time being a full time caregiver. Basically I've been at this since December 2010. Before that...it wasn't full time. But still an active part of my life. I know there are a ton of tough days. There are lots of days when we struggle as caregivers. Lots of days, when I know we'll be tired from doctor's appointments, hospital stays, and treatment days. I know this. I've walked this journey before.
I also know, lots of people will offer support. But when you get down to it...it will just be me. These are the days, when I truly hate that I never found a life partner. Like why couldn't I have found a husband or at least a boyfriend somewhere? At sometime...in this journey. To help shoulder some of this? But I'm here. And I have to do the best I can.
From experience I need to give myself grace. And know that some days, I might not cook every meal. Or the laundry might pile up. I might not get to mop the floor. Because my Mom's needs are more immediate. Or that I just don't get to the grocery store. I know there will be days that showering her is more important than bathing the dogs. Or even myself.
I've been here. Walked this journey before. I know there will be days when yardwork isn't done. When we go to appointments, and I've barely managed to brush my teeth and wash my face. I know there will be those days, when I just want to cry. I've been there. I've lived that.
But I also know, I need to take care of myself. I need to stop and say, I need 5 minutes too. Here at the hospital, I've made sure to take a few minutes each morning. I ask for a towel and a washcloth. And I go shower. Change my clothes. That is for me. I can cry. I can take care of my needs. Most of all, it's 5 minutes of just quiet.
People always ask me, how do you find time to practice self care in the hospital? I find at sunrise, my Mom is super tired. They wake her around 3AM for blood draws. Between 4 and 5AM, they check her vitals and she goes to the restroom. So I sneak out for 30 minutes or so. Walk around the hospital. Take my phone to capture the sunrise, any animals I see, and the beautiful plants. Just being outside, fuels my soul.
During the day, I try my hardest to leave the room 2-3 times. It's usually for 10-15 minutes. It may sound crazy, but I run up and down the 6 flights of stairs in the building we're in. It started as a coping mechanism when my Dad was in the hospital. We were usually on the 5th floor. I'd run up 2 flights, and down 9. Until I couldn't breathe. Now we're at the sister hospital. And there's only 6 flights. So I run 4 times. Top to bottom. I do that twice a day. I find it helps with the nerves. And any weird feelings.
A normal person would probably walk down the stairs for whatever errands they need to run. Going to the bathroom, cafeteria, or leaving the hospital. My friend Jessica does this. Then she uses the elevator to go back up. A little bit of exercise...because we spend a lot of time...well, taking care of someone else.
I also make it a point to eat one good meal. every single day. Whether it's lunch in the hospital. I really enjoy a good hospital meal. Or picking something up between quick visits home. In fact the other day, I bought a big salad and a sandwich. Because we have a refrigerator in the room...it turned into 5 meals. I keep healthy snacks on hand too. Bottles of water. And also one treat on hand. For me, that's a dark chocolate bar.
As caregivers, we forget to love ourselves. We forget to take care of ourselves. We forget that we need time for ourselves too. Even someone like me. Who is doing this alone. You just need to make time for yourself. 5 minutes is enough to fuel the tank. And sometimes, honestly, 5 minutes of peace and quiet is all you need. Taking care of yourself, will only make you a better caregiver. I repeat that...Taking care of you, will make you a better caregiver for them. 💜
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