Today is one of those loaded days for me. Today marks 5 months since my Mom's passing. It's also 19 years since my Auntie passed away. She was like a second mom to me. And both my Mom and Auntie loved Halloween so much. So I know...it will be a tough one...
You see, my Mom made my Halloween costumes. My entire life. When I moved out of the house. I realized for the first time, that it was not normal for someone to do this. I have the best memories of going to the fabric store with my Mom. Picking out the pattern, of the costume that I wanted. Then the fabric. We'd go a month or two before Halloween.
Then the night before Halloween, my Mom would stay up all night. Sewing this amazing creation. Her sewing room across the hall from my bedroom. I can still hear the hum of her sewing machine. The country music she'd be playing. The steam from the iron. My Mom would make the accessories and everything. I was always some complicated princess. Or something of the sort. That required yards and yards of beautiful fabric. And about 10 accessories. I'd wake up to a beautiful costume hanging in my bedroom. Like a fairy had put it there. In reality, I had a Mom that loved me that much.
A day or 2 before Halloween we'd also spend the day baking. Making sugar cookies from scratch. Cupcakes. Decorating them with homemade frosting. And so many sprinkles. My Dad would taste test them for us. And I'd pack up bags of candy. All of this for my School Parties.
And on Halloween, we'd make homemade pizza. Every year. And on the odd year, when that wasn't possible. We'd still buy pizza. We'd make Mummy hotdogs. Pop popcorn. Go through our neighborhood Trick-Or-Treating. Honestly, a handful of houses was enough for me. And we'd go home to watch some Halloween movies and hand out candy.
This last month, I've struggled more than any other time. As of yet. I've found a lot of comfort and relaxation in painting. I bought a bunch of signs at the Dollar Tree. And I sit and paint in the evenings. I've given them to family, friends, neighbors, and a few to the Medical Clinics my Mom once got treatment at.
In a lot of ways, they remind me of our Halloween decorations. My Mom loved to decorate for Halloween. I'm not sure what it was. But even a simple trip to the Grocery Store...would result in a nice little Halloween decor shop.
Then there was my Auntie. She LOVED Halloween! She took care of me when I was little. And every year on September 1st, we'd begin decorating her home. Inside. Outside. On the roof. In the front yard. All over the house. It's probably why I've always loved this holiday.
About 2 or 3 weeks ago, my littlest neighbors caught me outside. And asked me where my Halloween decorations were. Um, in the attic. And I don't climb. But I remembered seeing a small box in my Mom's closet. So I dug it out. And decorated our front porch and gates. The kids were so excited!
This weekend, I put up some decorations inside the house. Those, I knew were in the closet. It started to feel a little more festive. And I even went to dinner with a friend on Friday. I got a little dressed up. Nothing too crazy. I painted my face and wore some leopard ears and a tail. But it was a nice change of pace.
I spent yesterday, doing the things my Mom and I would have done today. I baked cookies and cupcakes. Which I shared with my neighbors, friends, and family. I made homemade pizza. And ate popcorn while watching some of our favorite Halloween movies...and the Munsters.
Going forward, these are the things I want to carry with me. Traditions that I want to take into the future. To honor these two amazing ladies. As hard as days like this can be, they can also be full of amazing memories.
Tonight I'm going to help a friend handout candy. And just enjoy being in the moment. That's what I'm learning. There will always be a place in my heart, where I will miss the people I've lost. But there is also something magical about being able to carry their memories into my future. Happy Halloween! 💜
