It's a New Day, It's a New Dawn

 Today we woke up very differently than normal. Maybe our new normal? Either way it seems so unreal.

My Mom's cancer has made a fast progression. And all at once she's had another medical emergency. It quite honestly worries me to the core. I didn't want to leave her last night. But with corona virus, being at a hospital so far from home, and having dogs...I headed home late last night. Got the dogs fed. And prepared for a day or 2 without us. Watered the garden at midnight. And prepared some supplies for us.

I should have been back sooner this morning. But exhaustion kicked my butt. The dogs didn't want me to leave. I almost didn't make the trash today. I woke up to hear the truck driving by. But our trashman is super nice. And came back for ours. I even got the recycables set out for tomorrow.

We still got plenty of visits. From plenty of doctors. Tomorrow My Mom's oncologist will be here first thing tomorrow morning. To discuss chemo. Chemo! The thought gives me so many feelings. It's been nearly 5 years since my Mom's diagnosis. But I didn't think chemo was this close. Because the leukemia had been stable. Stable!

My Mom spoke with the director of oncology this morning. And the dietitian. I spoke with her hospitalist, nephrologist, the oncologist, another hospitalist, and the team who will be doing another bone marrow biopsy. So much is happening! We even had a visit from a Eucharistic Minister who prayed over my Mom. And gave us eucharist. 

First thing in the morning, my Mom will have a bone marrow biopsy. And if her kidneys are doing better, which they've greatly improved already, she'll have another MRI with contrast. If not, she'll have a CAT scan. Potentially there will also be a bone density scan. 

It's so hard being that the weekend is near. So do they start chemo in the hospital? Do they send us home? What tests can they do in the hospital? Lots of things. We do know, she won't be discharged before Sunday. Honestly, I feel like we'll be here until early next week.

Great things are already happening. Like my Mom's blood chemistry is improving. Her kidneys are working great. Just needed some help with meds. Now we just try and get her to eat. That's the big thing. Eat Momma, Eat!

It feels almost like my Dad's journey. Because it goes from nothing...to full force. And you're left with your head spinning. But we're making a plan. And have some amazing doctors on our team, #TeamIrene Most importantly I have full confidence in our doctors. 💜

Selflessness

Selflessness: concern more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own.

I find that one of the most important things about being a caregiver...is being selfless. You ALWAYS have to put the person you are caring for...first. ALWAYS!

For example, my Mom hasn't been tolerating food lately. I'm not sure what is going on. Every few months, she gets like this. Nothing really changes it. It's just something that happens. The look of food, smell, texture...all bother her. She basically becomes a vegetarian. And lives off of bread and eggs.

The biggest issue is meat. It's been a good 6 weeks since I've been able to cook meat. I mean, even the Sonic, McDonald's, and Chili's commercials make her sick. We normally eat a lot of chicken. But it's now become an almost daily part of our diet.

In the same respect, I'm severely anemic. I take a daily high dose of iron. And a weekly bolus. Sometimes it gets so bad, that I have to have an infusion. So meat is definitely a cornerstone of my diet.

Late last week, I was getting the shakes. I knew I needed to eat some red meat. Nothing else was working. So when my Mom went to bed...I went to get a burger. And in the cold, I sat outside to eat it.

It took me 2 days to get the smell out of our car. I felt somewhat better. But we are still a meatless house. For the moment. It's just one of those things. And I just have to figure my way around it.

Another example of putting her first, is happening tomorrow. My Mom and my aunts are going out to lunch and a movie. A movie that I've been wanting to see for months! But I need to take care of some medical things. For my Mom. And the fact that I don't have to drag her around town, in the cold, comes first.

So she'll go have a fun day. And I'll run around setting up upcoming tests, getting financial paperwork done, and delivering some orders. Because...we need to pay for all that good medical stuff. I probably make deliveries 2-3 times a week. And I HATE to make my Mom go with me. Especially since it's gotten so cold again.

I guess eventually, the movie will come out on TV. And I'll probably grab a quick bite on my way home. Which is also a treat. Because I try to cook most of the time. Maybe I'll pick up a good burger. Yum!

I also find, setting up mini dates helps a lot. Even if you rarely get to go out yourself. But if you can arrange for your person to go to breakfast, a movie, or just visit with someone...even for an hour. It helps you to get things done. 

Even if all you want to do, is stay home and sleep. Find someone who can maybe stay with your loved one, while you do your weekly grocery shopping. Or your monthly errands. Even just a monthly 2 hours...so you can meet with your medical team to setup appointments and such. 💜