Love Yourself

This week more than any other week, has made me realize how important self-care is. It's more than a slogan or silly catch phrase. It is what will carry you through your journey. Over the long haul.

This is my second time being a full time caregiver. Basically I've been at this since December 2010. Before that...it wasn't full time. But still an active part of my life. I know there are a ton of tough days. There are lots of days when we struggle as caregivers. Lots of days, when I know we'll be tired from doctor's appointments, hospital stays, and treatment days. I know this. I've walked this journey before.

I also know, lots of people will offer support. But when you get down to it...it will just be me. These are the days, when I truly hate that I never found a life partner. Like why couldn't I have found a husband or at least a boyfriend somewhere? At sometime...in this journey. To help shoulder some of this? But I'm here. And I have to do the best I can. 

From experience I need to give myself grace. And know that some days, I might not cook every meal. Or the laundry might pile up. I might not get to mop the floor. Because my Mom's needs are more immediate. Or that I just don't get to the grocery store. I know there will be days that showering her is more important than bathing the dogs. Or even myself. 

I've been here. Walked this journey before. I know there will be days when yardwork isn't done. When we go to appointments, and I've barely managed to brush my teeth and wash my face. I know there will be those days, when I just want to cry. I've been there. I've lived that.

But I also know, I need to take care of myself. I need to stop and say, I need 5 minutes too. Here at the hospital, I've made sure to take a few minutes each morning. I ask for a towel and a washcloth. And I go shower. Change my clothes. That is for me. I can cry. I can take care of my needs. Most of all, it's 5 minutes of just quiet.

People always ask me, how do you find time to practice self care in the hospital? I find at sunrise, my Mom is super tired. They wake her around 3AM for blood draws. Between 4 and 5AM, they check her vitals and she goes to the restroom. So I sneak out for 30 minutes or so. Walk around the hospital. Take my phone to capture the sunrise, any animals I see, and the beautiful plants. Just being outside, fuels my soul. 

During the day, I try my hardest to leave the room 2-3 times. It's usually for 10-15 minutes. It may sound crazy, but I run up and down the 6 flights of stairs in the building we're in. It started as a coping mechanism when my Dad was in the hospital. We were usually on the 5th floor. I'd run up 2 flights, and down 9. Until I couldn't breathe. Now we're at the sister hospital. And there's only 6 flights. So I run 4 times. Top to bottom. I do that twice a day. I find it helps with the nerves. And any weird feelings. 

A normal person would probably walk down the stairs for whatever errands they need to run. Going to the bathroom, cafeteria, or leaving the hospital. My friend Jessica does this. Then she uses the elevator to go back up. A little bit of exercise...because we spend a lot of time...well, taking care of someone else. 

I also make it a point to eat one good meal. every single day. Whether it's lunch in the hospital. I really enjoy a good hospital meal. Or picking something up between quick visits home. In fact the other day, I bought a big salad and a sandwich. Because we have a refrigerator in the room...it turned into 5 meals. I keep healthy snacks on hand too. Bottles of water. And also one treat on hand. For me, that's a dark chocolate bar.

As caregivers, we forget to love ourselves. We forget to take care of ourselves. We forget that we need time for ourselves too. Even someone like me. Who is doing this alone. You just need to make time for yourself. 5 minutes is enough to fuel the tank. And sometimes, honestly, 5 minutes of peace and quiet is all you need. Taking care of yourself, will only make you a better caregiver. I repeat that...Taking care of you, will make you a better caregiver for them. 💜

Fundraising Fridays #5

I'm still riding that Yoda bandwagon. And we have a Craft Show this weekend! But I needed to make something different. Even for just a few hours. Something quick. And easy. That was cute. I present...these Boho Earrings. 

I've managed about 10 pairs. During one movie. These are the ONLY purple ones that I have. They're 100% cotton. Let me know if you are interested in a pair. 💜

Fundraising Fridays #4

Yodas have taken over my life! And my crochet hook. So this week's Love Caregivers item comes from my Mom. This sweet Lalaloopsy. She's about 18 inches long. And that hair...guys it is so soft!

Purple Lalaloopsy Dolls are probably our best sellers. We can rarely keep enough of them stocked. So if you are interested, please let me know. 💜

Fundraising Fridays #3

This week, I got to test a pattern. For a designer on Facebook. What a beautiful hat! It's a toddler size hat. And the pom is removeable for washing. I've attached a small button inside, to make it easy to move the pom. 

I have enough yarn, in this color to make another hat. An adult size. I'll probably be working on it this weekend. Let me tell you, it's super soft! If it was my size...I probably would have kept it! 

If you are interested, please leave me a comment. Or send me an email. Like always, when you see us selling...any items with the purple heart, sales go directly to the Love Caregivers section of our foundation. Happy Friday! 💜

Fundraising Fridays #2

Last week, I mentioned that I run a dog business. And I've been trying to add more sweaters and hats to our stock. Because people really do like dressing up their pets. I know I do! My dog may or may not have her own closet!

I made this sweet hat. With a pompom and ties. If you notice on the sides, there are ear holes. So the dog's ears can peak out the sides. I'm currently working on a matching sweater. Let me know if you are interested. 💜

Fundraising Fridays #1

So I want to try something new. I run our little business Two Crafty Hearts. It's a business that my Mom and I started almost 20 years ago. And for the last 5 or 6 years, we've really expanded. We sell at local Craft Shows and Growers' Markets.

People always ask about the various colors of tags. So here's a quick run down. We have a pink that goes with the dog section of our business Love, Puppy Momma. I make various dog items. We have an orange tag, that goes with a foundation we started for my Mom when she got sick in 2016. It's to help pay her medical bills.

We have a yellow tag, were sales go directly into our scholarship fund for Love for Blue. Those sales are used just for scholarships for ABQ Youth. Our green tag, that's the one that is for our business. The one that pays the bills. 

The last two, are our biggest sellers. The blue tag benefits the Love for Blue Foundation. We use money from this fund for scholarships, for sponsorships, to help Cancer families, for fundraisers, and once a year we make a donation in my Dad's name. To cancer research. He's the reason we started all of this. And unfortunately, we lost him to Colon Cancer in 2015.

Lastly, our purple tags go to support this place. Our Love Caregivers section. We use this money to send notes, cards, or small gifts to caregivers. We try and host a meal every 3 months or so...at our local hospital. For caregivers. And we try and help, when we can, with some of the expenses for local caregivers. Like meals while their loved one is in the hospital, a tank of gas, or on occasion...a hotel room.

All of this takes a lot of money. And time. When we are not actively selling at the Growers' Markets...money gets really tight. And our work greatly slows down. So I thought, why not showcase some of the items to benefit Love Caregivers.

So I'm going to be honest here. I've been on the Yoda bandwagon. And not much else is being made. But I still need to create some items for this space. I made about 10 of these little bags. They hold little ponies, unicorns, and pegasus.

I've made these bags for years. But for boys. With cars, bugs, and toy soldiers. And the other day, I thought why not make some for the girls? These bags actually came out of a convo with some kids. They were looking for little bags to stash their "treasures."

If you are interested, please leave me a comment. Or send me an email. I'll continue to post my "purple" creations weekly. And if you are interested in purchasing products that directly go to this cause...look for the purple tags when you see us out and about! 💜

Love Caregivers 💜

Hi guys! My name is Desiree. And I'm a caregiver. It's been a full time job...for nearly 10 years. First, I cared for my Dad. Until his passing in 2015. It was over 5 years of the toughest times in my life. But I would not change that time...even if I could. To be with him, when he needed me the most...was life changing.

In 2016, my Mom was diagnosed with cancer as well. And instead of heading home like planned...I stayed to take care of my Mom too. Some would think, this time around would be easier. But it hasn't been. There are plenty of challenges, that I face on a daily occurrence. I have more knowledge of how the system works, what to expect, and how to navigate through it all. But it's just as challenging.

I started the Love Caregivers part of our foundation, in 2015. When we began our foundation. I knew from experience...just how difficult and lonely it is to be a caregiver.

Caregiver: A caregiver or informal caregiver is an unpaid and without formal training, member of a person's social network who helps them with activities of daily living. Caregiving is most commonly used to address impairments related to old age, disability, a disease, or a mental disorder.

By definition, you know it's going to be tough. But I don't think anyone REALLY knows how difficult the journey is going to be. I know I didn't. At all! Even though, we helped take care of plenty of relatives before.

As part of the Love Caregivers movement, for the past 5 years I've been sending out cards, care packages, and giftcards...to caregivers and children of sick families. I began my work, in my Dad's hospital room. After years of connecting, with other caregivers.

I knew firsthand, how tough long stays in the hospital could be. How lonely, the long weeks at home would become. And how not many people, really understood what I was going through.

During my Dad's last year of life, we joined a Support Group. At our Cancer Center. It was life changing! And I'd strongly suggest, you to do the same. Once a week, we'd meet at the Cancer Center. My Dad was never too thrilled. But immediately following his diagnosis, we were asked to attend. The doctors in our Cancer Center really know, how to take care of the entire family.

My Dad, Mom, and I would go. His doctor noticed his resistance. And immediately started scheduling his appointments, to coincide with the Support Group. The meetings were about 2 hours long. They provided lunch. Only patients and their caregivers were allowed.

And it was a completely safe place. To discuss everything. From diagnosis, to treatment, to end of life care. Patients could talk to each other about what they were going through. Caregivers could support one another. And all of our team (doctors, nurses, PT, PT, psychologists, therapists, financial representatives, insurance people, etc.) would attend. Each week, one of them would lead a small discussion.

It was a life changing experience. There is no other way to put it. These people, became my safety net. And after my Dad's death, I still attended for a few months. They supported me through my grief. And I was a wealth of knowledge...for people on this journey. While my Mom worked, I would go to the meetings. It saved my life. And me from having a breakdown.

With all of this, I realized the need for a safe space. To talk. To go to for answers. To be supportive. That's where this space was born from. I started on Facebook. And chatted with people through email. But I see the need for this space.

In 2020, I want to blog more often. Talk about the topics and questions, that I receive. I feel like, so many families are looking for answers. And I can give you, some of the things I've learned along the way. The tough stuff. The financial stuff. The emotional stuff.

If you have questions, please feel free to leave me a comment, send me an email, or reach out to me on social media. I want to be part of your safety net. And I'm here to tell you, whatever your journey is...you will get through it. There might be bumps in the road...but you will make it. 💜